The Headmaster Ritual

Belligerent ghouls
run Manchester schools
spineless swines
cemented mines
Sir leads the troops
jealous of youth
same old suit since 1962
he does the military two-step
down the nape of my neck
I wanna go home
I don't want to stay
give up education
is a bad mistake
mid-week on the playing fields
Sir thwacks you on the knees
knees you in the groin
elbow in the face
I wanna go home
I don't want to stay

Belligerent ghouls
run Manchester schools
spineless bastards all
Sir leads the troops
jealous of youth
same old jokes since 1902
he does the military two-step
down the nape of my neck
I wanna go home
I don't want to stay
give up life
as a bad mistake
please excuse me from gym
I've got this terrible cold coming on
he grabs and devours
he kicks me in the showers
kicks me in the showers
and he grabs and devours
I wanna go home
I don't want to stay

Rusholme Ruffians

The last night at the fair
by the big wheel generator
a boy is stabbed
and his money is grabbed
and the air hangs heavy like a dulling wine
she is famous
she is funny
an engagement ring
doesn't mean a thing
to a mind consumed by brass(money)
and though I walk home alone
my faith in love is still devout
the last night at the fair
from a seat on a whirling waltzer
her skirt ascends for a watching eye
it's a hideous trait( on her mother's side)
and though I walk home alone
my faith in love is still devout
then someone falls in love
and someone's beaten up
and the senses being dulled are mine
and someone falls in love
someone's beaten up
and the senses being dulled are mine
and though I walk home alone
my faith in love is still devout
this is the last night of the fair
and the grease in the hair
of a speedway operator
is all a tremulous heart requires
a schoolgirl is denied
she said "How quickly would I die
if I jumped from the top of the parachutes?"
this is the last night of the fair
and the grease in the hair
of a speedway operator
is all a tremulous heart requires
a schoolgirl is denied
she said "How quickly would I die
if I jumped from the top of the parachutes?"
scratch my name on your arm with a fountain pen
(this means you really love me)
scratch my name on your arm with a fountain pen
(this means you really love me)
and though I walk home alone
my faith in love is still devout

I Want the One I Can't Have

On the day that your mentality
catches up with your biology

I want the one I can't have

and it's driving me mad
it's written all over my face

(repeat)

A double-bed
and a stalwart lover, for sure
these are the riches of the poor
(x2)

(refrain)

a tough kid who sometimes swallows nails
raised on Prisoner's Aid
he killed a policeman when he was thirteen
and somehow that really impressed me
it's written all over my face

On the day that your mentality
catches up with your biology

And if you ever need self-validation
just meet me in the alley by the
railway-station
it's written all over my face

What She Said

What she said:
"How come someone hasn't noticed
that I'm dead
and decided to bury me
God knows, I'm ready"
What she said was
but then, all the rejection she's had
to pretend to be happy
could only be idiocy
What she said was not for the job or
lover that she never had
What she read
all heady books
she'd sit and prophesise
(it took a tattoed boy from Birkenhead
to really really open her eyes)
What she read
all heady books
she'd sit and prophesise
(it took a tattoed boy from Birkenhead
to really really open her eyes)
What she said:
"I smoke 'cos I'm hoping for an
early death
And I need to cling to something
What she said:
"I smoke 'cos I'm hoping for an
early death
And I need to cling to something!"

That Joke Isn't Funny Anymore

Park the car at the side of the road
you should know
time's tide will smother you
and I will too
when you laugh about other people who feel so
very lonely
their only desire is to die
well I'm afraid
it doesn't make me smile
I wish I could laugh
but that joke isn't funny anymore
it's too close to home
and it's too near the bone
it's too close to home
and it's too near the bone
more than you'll ever know
It was dark as I drove the point home
and on cold leather seats
well, it suddenly struck me
I just might die with a smile on my
face after all

I've seen this happen in other people's lives
and now it's happening in mine

Nowhere Fast

I'd like to drop my trousers to the world
I am a man of means(of slender means)
each household appliance
is like a new science in my town
and if a day came when I felt a
natural emotion
I'd get such a shock I'd probably jump
in the ocean
and when a train goes by
it's such a sad sound

I'd like to drop my trousers to the Queen
every sensible child will know what this means
the poor and the needy
are selfish and greedy on her terms
and if the day came when I felt a
natural emotion
I'd get such a shock I'd probably jump
in the ocean
and when a train goes by
it's such a sad song

And when I'm lying in my bed
I think about life
and I think about death
and neither one particularly appeals to me
and if the day came when I felt a
natural emotion
I'd get such a shock I'd probably lie
in the middle of the street and die
I'd lie down and die

Well I Wonder

Well I wonder
do you hear me when you sleep?
I hoarsely cry

Well I wonder
do you see me when we pass?
I half-die

Please keep me in mind
please keep me in mind

Gasping-but somehow still alive
this is the fierce last stand of all I am

Gasping-dying-but somehow still alive
this is the final stand of all I am

Please keep me in mind

Barbarism Begins At Home

Unruly boys
who will not grow up
must be taken in hand
Unruly girls
who will not settle down
they must be taken in hand

A crack on the head
is what you get for not asking
and a crack on the head
is what you get for asking

Meat Is Murder

Heifer whines could be human cries
closer comes the screaming knife
this beautiful creature must die
this beautiful creature must die
a death for no reason
and death for reason is murder
and the flesh you so fancifully fry
is not succulent, tasty or nice
it's death for no reason
and death for no reason is murder
and the calf that you carve with a smile
is murder
and the turkey you festively slice
is murder
do you know how animals die?
kitchen aroma aren't very homely
it's not "comforting," "cheery" or kind
it's sizzling blood and the unholy stench
of murder
it's not "natural," "normal" or kind
the fleas you so fancifully fry
as you savour the flavour
of murder

no, no, no, it's murder
no, no, no, it's murder
who hears when animals cry?

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